Union with Cosmic Father

Spirit of Earth

I thank you for this gift

Spirit of Water

Float me gently down streams of thought

Spirit of Fire

Give us your divine spark

Spirit of Air

Join us with this sacred breath

I ebb and sink and warp with the elements as they move through the trodden paths of mind. The boiling elixirs of polarized energies catalyze new patterns of awareness and insight, waning and waxing ever-refining chronicles of the Overself. I tune the awareness of mind to the new frequency of myriadic thought, and find a profound stillness that grips all my being in its holy enchantment. I rest here for a short eon, because why would you go anywhere else?

A haze moves in, like a dense fog of ominous reverence. This is what I’ve come here for.

I see why trembling ring-leaders dressed as holy men warned me of this realm. Why they white-knuckle their crosses made of atoms in their sweaty palms. It is the unknown, it is the Abyss, I am looking into the eyes of Chaos, the oldest god there is. As always, I have a choice.

I could get up get water, gaze into the fire and drift around to some groovy tunes. I could say a few token prayers & rest well knowing that I had attained a new level of depth in my meditation. I could choose to ignore what the Dweller on the Threshold has to show me, yet again.

Or

I could sit and be still, to arrive at the fringes of the known, and to open-heartedly say ‘Yes’ to expansion.

I sit in stillness, fire in right hand, water in left. I see the balanced energy exchange that is fueled by my slow, steady breath. I feel my Self grounded in the balance of fire & water and commit to allowing the threshold to wash over my consciousness. Suddenly, I find myself upside-down, seated in the same position I had been. I look down to see my mirror image, as if seated on the surface of the water. I have traversed dimensions, dwelling in the realm of the Below. As a test, I flipped right-side up and found that my anchor in the elements had held & I was free to pass between the veil of Above and Below at will.

With gratitude, the space of the Below is gently illuminated.

A raw & tender set of emotions emerges, one that I’ve gas-lit, ignored, numbed and justified away. All under the guise of “he did the best he could with the tools, knowledge and skills he had at the time.” “Do I really think I’m doing that much better?” “His perspective…” “I can’t expect so much from someone who had the up-bringing that he had.” You may know the one.

Allowing myself to finally just sit with this pain and frustration…I was able to voice that my dad really let me down. I was looking for someone to show me the ways of magic, the path of the sovereign, the effervescent joy that comes from transmuting thought energy into matter. I wanted to learn to create my experiences, instead of merely being pushed around by them. To jump between pendulums to shape my attentions potential to create new worlds. I desired a guide into the realms of the unconscious, to understand the flow of energy expressed in financial currency. I wanted a mentor for refining the inner base material into gold, to discuss ideas without attachment to ideology.

But there’s something far worse.

The true turmoil is knowing the pain that the expression of this emotion causes in my dad. I’ve sat with the sick guilt of my own short-comings as a father. I Innerstand the deep searing acrimony of seeing my projection of pain reflected in someone who I have been blessed by. Someone who I have the rare opportunity to demonstrate the Way to. For I am their guide along the Path until they decide to captain their own ship.

Union with the archetypal earthly father is a prison of law. As long as I look to the father for the direction, I am limited to a perspective of Self that leaves me unable to accept the Love and Acceptance that is but a breath away. The cycles feeds itself, and there is but one way to satisfy the loop of expectation, disappointment, pain, hiding. It is a self-referential loop of expectation and self-judgement.

Luckily for us, the sacrifice required to cut the binding has been made. As the Great Son spelled, “It is finished.”

The only debt remaining is my willingness to align with the Cosmic Father, to attune my awareness to the unconditional Love & Acceptance that perpetually awaits with open arms. All that’s required for the Great Alignment that I seek is to recognize it in myself, and to cast off the spell of ‘living up to’ obligation and convention. Union with the Cosmic Father leaves us free to love, free to accept whole-heartedly the fullness of completion, devoid of the complex web of the contractual covenant of death.

The knife cuts the cord that has represented pursuit of the earthly father. Relationship is restored through the severing of duty, coercion, and fear. The cord is placed into the bowl of water for cleansing and then calcinated for further refinement. The excess potential that gets released from the cleaving creates an opportunity for a renewed Union of the Divine Masculine & Feminine, and a celebration of the Divine Union dances through the corridors of my inner worlds.

I return from the netherworld, zinging with vitality and openness. Carefully flipping myself right-side up, I move with the rising smoke of the Myrrh, my prayers lift and swirl with the incense of the sacrifice. The flood of insight and revelation simmers down to a warm mushy pile of Home. Here, mountains of burden lift from my body as I sink deeper into a puddle of Beauty and Cosmic Awe.

I am free

My dad is free

My sons are free

I no longer seek Love, for I am Love

I no longer seek Union, for I am Union