The Drum-Birthing Portal
I want to share a story of birthing a drum. A big drum, a big ol’ beast of thunder.
mmmmmmmmm, twas a deep night...
i had a feeling that full moon would be time, and i certainly felt myself being pulled into the experience.
Building drums and instruments is about 'building the temple'. As I design and build the temple within, I get to experience the building of the temple without.
Some epic tie-cutting with brother eagle, my reliance I've placed on my partner to come into my processes to be 'seen'... the disapproval and condemnation of any sexuality that I expressed growing up...
Feeling the here and now.
The importance in preparing the space!!! I wept over how I've felt that others perceived me as lazy, stalling, procrastinating...Anger was released as I spoke the deeper truths...I am stealthily preparing, I am seeking in the shadows to bring more Light to more parts of myself. I am allowing, Her.
I put on a Dragon Womb playlist and felt into womb space and how appreciative that I am of seeing the patterns, the spiral path, the fractals,...how this drum birth is but a smaller part of a greater Work.
Spikenard!!! As an initiatory ceremony, I anointed myself with spiikenard as a crossing over into my sacred feminine. The space opened up into the opportunity to speak, from the Heart of Her, into my own life. There's a special kind of feeling of 'coming home' that I (and maybe all men/masc) experience when my GOODNESS is acknowledged by the feminine. So much of what keeps 'nice guys' tame, is the lack of awareness of how powerful Goodness is. AND, to trust that I am good, that I am creating, day by day, more and more, a Heart-centric kingdom for my family and community. This message is particularly powerful when emanating from the feminine. The masculine must discover a heart that can hear this message from their own Inner Womb space. She must tell me, for me to ever hear, receive, and embody.
I then anointed myself with my oil, to celebrate the union of masc and fem. This alchemical union opens doors to connect my heart to that which I birth. By feeling my love and appreciation for my creations, I better feel the love, adoration, safety, presence...internally...less and less reliance on external attachment to people, ideas, stories,
And then! The revelation of goodness expanded further into an Innerstanding that my sexuality is good. Fuck, that's a dark well.
I squated over the void of the drum and birthed a spirit (of sorts) of my visions for the spaces that will be created with its rhythm and depth.
Then, I proceeded to weave cow skin around steel, fastened knots, stretch, pull, clamp,...
There was a moment where I started to contemplate what I would have to do to back out...the rim wasn't stretching as far as it needed to...I couldn't make the adjustments that I need while also holding the mass together. But She kept leading me onwards, reminding me that all the beautiful dream that I imagine are now in the process of unfolding. Just breathe, and be present with the current knot.
And then finally an epic release. When I reached a stage where I knew the skin was secure, I just had to repetitively feed ropes through knots to circle the whole perimeter.
I then presented Bridge to the full moon, we danced, I offered my gratitude. There was much incense, much smoke, much feathers and rope, and flesh, and hair, and steel. I smell like a bovine wizard.